Laid Back

I am the baddas for blogging things. Well, while my fingers typing on this, my brain turns into wild waves searching for excuses why I need so much time to blogging again. There is no particular reasons, just don’t feel like to typing anything. Living in my parent’s house with so many grown people within was a reason. I found myself feel so much laid back. No hang out friends, no good places to go, no willingness to know new people. Sounds like the truly I am. What makes me typing again then? No particular also, just watching some videos on youtube, then got bored, all of those work things are spread around my desk. Untouched. Unfinished. And then, yes I find the reason, I got bored so here I am writing. I need to move the words from my mind into texts so I could find them anytime I need a way.

I find myself weary of my own thought, not really, I find myself too much laid back about life. I don’t like being laid back, its bad. Some months ago I’m in explorer mode when I was done reading good travelling books, and now where those fire gone?? Can I blame my period time that comes closer? Today I sit alone in my room to dissociate from other coworkers just because I don’t feel normal inside. I’m so afraid I could heartly hurt others just for one tiny thing because of this damn sensitiveness.

They say life could be such cruel when someone’s happiest time could be the worst time for other. Well that’s true my friend, that’s true. I’m on such situation right now. When the-used-to-be-favorite-living-soul in this planet going to tie the knot to the other-living-soul-but-me in couple days ahead, you gotta caught in nausea. I cant explain what beast roaring inside of me, or what parasite free-riding on me right now. Just feel like it sucks my interests, I fought with everyone at home, I blamed them for a tiny casual wrong, I refuse to spoke nicely, I refused to discuss anything. I mean, hey I’m not that teeny anymore, those things don’t supposed to be my habit right? But my heart wont listen, it keeps weary, it keeps sad, it keeps unhappy.