Maybe, I'm Just too Ignorant

Kalo kepala manusia itu layaknya reaktor nuklir dan hati manusia itu kipas pendinginnya, mungkin aku udah meledak sejak dulu kali yak. Kepala ama hati udah gak bisa sinkron lagi. Hati udah panas banget udah gak sanggup meredam gelegak reaktor di kepala. Daripada aku sakit hati sia-sia ya jalan keluarnya aku melupakan mereka seolah-olah mereka gak ada. Gak dianggep itu mungkin udah bawaan lahir aku. Ini hampir kayak empat tahun lalu waktu awal-awal blog ini dibuat, sebagai pelarian dari ketidaknampakan. Mungkin yang salah itu emang aku, mau dibenerin juga aku gak tau harus darimana, mungkin aku terlalu ignorant untuk membenahi diri untuk menyadari kesalahan sendiri. Mungkin aku terlalu selfcenter yang menuntut orang-orang berputar mengelilingi aku, gak aku bukan pencari perhatian, aku cenderung menghindar jadi pusat perhatian. Atau mungkin aku cuma datang dan bergabung di saat yang kurang tepat. Kenapa aku masih bertahan? Aku dah bosen banget sama kalimat itu, udah berulang-ulang-ulang-ulang terucap tapi gak ada perubahan. Mungkin belajar jadi "penghibur" itu perlu, layakya Daud yang selalu dicariin Saul buat menenangkan dia saat Saul lagi gelisah karena Daud pinter nyanyi dan maen musik. Pinter menghibur. Pinter menyenangkan hati orang lain even saat hati dan kepala kayak dua kutub magnet

Feeling so Blue

I saw your face almost 2 weeks ago, when I  was being so rushy and busy for meetings. You and your brother-like-boss asked me to had lunch together which I refused. I already regret it the time I said no. Then the next day I got broken heart when a friend told me that you flew to the capitol for a "heart-bussines" thing. Well, would somebody tell me is there any other meaning of that words? Nope. That was the sign that I need to let you go. You already have someone else.

Today, I saw you again. I thought that I would be okay. Yes I'm okay when you were around, when you leave there is hole in my tummy.
I.Can't.Stop.Thinking.Of.You.

I'm planing about escape for this long weekend. Back to my "hometown", a place where I always feel like home. You weren't there, well, I wasn't thinking of you when I was there. I can manage my head and my heart for almost 2 weeks. Almost. Because while I'm writing this, it's April 15 right now, and you've came and poped-up in this place twice or three time since then, I'm start thinking of you again.